Unafraid to cry..

A sad silent day like the innumerous days that have now passed.
And the monotonous days up ahead.
And there is this dull ache in my heart.
A sorrow that brings tears with no apparent reasons.

And tears that flow unashamed unabashed.

Hmmm.. I’m reading poetry. And somehow that just hurts me so bad.

Where wine is cheaper than water..

This is my second post of the day and though this is going slightly overboard, i really love doing this.

On Feb 14th 2009, i created some of the awesomest memories ever and i have always wanted to record those. on some more lasting source than this confounded head of mine. And thats is what this is.. This is so that i live those moments again. Now when i write this and in the years to come when i read this. And this is also my way of redeeming my promise to Aana. "if i live to tell the tale, i promise i'll blog about this". So this female.. is my promise. Fulfilled!

"Where wine is cheaper than water..
And clothes an unwanted burden.
To such a promised land my Lord let my soul awaken."

Top nine moments - PoNDy#2009.. (in random order..)

1. Fuss in the bus.

I moved out of Kerala almost two years back. so the sensation of being groped is something i had forgotten. in fact i had forgotten that this really does happen. so it was that naaj, ritu and i were sitting in the bus. on the way to pondy from chennai when i turned around to see the guy behind me reclining comfortably with his hand on my shoulders!! a*****E!! i swear i ve never used the swear word like i ever meant it. not before that day. but that day i let myself go. and boy.. was that fun. :) though ritu still claims i did not exploit the situation to the maximum as in - i did not get the guy thrown off the bus or convicted in a court of law, i was pretty happy with the reaction. so was naaj i think.. Right naaji??

2. Stuck!!
Lady Rep Manju.. how can i forget? the hour spent standing next to the crowded Pondy roads.. Waiting for Reenu to come and rescue us. The plot goes this way - we had taken off to Pondy city. none of us had licenses except Minu sa.. and yet there we were riding in the city. unafraid. :) (note the stress on UNAFRAID). and Reenu Acha has this excuse of a moped. a fragile thing that still relies on pedals. and this was one formidable machine. the only one among us brave enough to ride it was our very own Lady Rep.. Lady rep Manju. While on our way back from the city, the traffic kept piling until it reached a point when Manju almost hit a biker and almost got the two of us KILLED by a bus.. But as the story unfolds, i'm still alive and she managed to scrape through with slight scars on her confidence levels. Anyways.. as she was no longer fit to ride and Acha's bike was still the stubborn machine that it is, we waited there. Manju and me. Soumsi and Tommy, Nanu and Naaji, Radhee and Ritu had gone ahead to Auroville. Minu went by herself. Brave brave female!! Acha meantime managed to come up with a two member strong rescue team - Bajji and ACHA!! And came flying to get Manju and me off the streets. no pun intended. And all this while.. we waited there. Manju and me. with twenty bucks between the two of us. and a lifetime of conversation ahead of us. Manju.. truth be told. loved it! scared shitless may be.. but loved it nevertheless.

3. Romance in the air..

So did i mention Acha's sorry machine before? Well.. it may be in a sorry state. but only when it is being ridden by anyone other than Acha.. After the rescue, Acha rode the moped while i sat behind her. She made the machine seem so solid. i felt the safest i ve ever felt on anything that has wheels. and this undoubtedly was one of the most romantic moments of my life. star lit sky. wind that made me cry.. (literally.. was hard to keep my eyes open.) and a suicidal Acha riding the moped like it was a Benz..! and we sang along. the two of us. :) Acha female. you're the best knight in shining armour. EVER!! For you can make even that piece of junk - FLY!!

4. Dance like no one is watching..

Oh that was fun.. while waiting for steaming momos, with lovely music filling the air, the dance fever gripped us. and we danced. :) Soumsi/naaj/minu/manju and me.. this is one of those things i miss the most. dancing when the fever grips us. with utter disregard for the 'who is watching' part of it. i will remember that place. i will remember the cute tibetan guy naaj was trying to hit on. i will remember the 'Notting Hill' song that played in the background.

5. Truest prayer of them all..
When we went with Acha to her friend's place on the night of the 14th. knowing our antics she had pre-warned us that this place was the most silent place around and there was no way we could even whisper. as an afterthought she directed us to visit a lotus pond right next to her friends house. and there.. hmmm.. few words i penned that day.
"Underneath the starry brilliance, sitting next to a lotus pond which is alive with thousands of sounds, with whispering bamboo shoots behind us and an all-consuming silence around us. Right here on this spot is a temple every brick of which is an honest prayer. Exactly two words - 'Thank you'. Addressed to no one. Addressed to everyone. gratitude. for this life, this trip, this moment" there are a few moments in life that seem to give the deepest meaning to the very fact that we are alive. and that moment there was one of those. i was alive that day to experience that peace. loved it.
Wonder what everyone else was thinking.. Ritu?? Radhee?? Tommy??

6. Not-so-great-crater..
Blame it on ritu may be.. when she went on building up this visual imagery of a depression in th emiddle of no where from where you can see the whole of the heavens.. we really thought it was a cave. so the actual first sight of the crater was a slight let down.. for this is not a big depression. it is an expanse of land with a lot of bushes and gravel. the view of the skies was everything that was promised. but the ground was not very kind to our posteriors and specially for the ones not-so-generously-endowed :).. but this was fun. i realised all of us are so different. with different expectations, but we still gel. somehow. somewhere. and thats how we ended up deciding to get back to our comfortable accommodation and carry on with the rest of the difference of opinions.. :) and btw.. to the question of "what is in a name??" i now have very solid answers. a lime juice by any other name does not taste just the same. right nanu?? right soumsi?

7. Art of blab..
So this is what makes any trip worthwhile. Blab blab and more blab.. And thats where the moments spent with Ritu/Naaj/Minu/Soumsi/Manju in the bus, with Radhee while riding to Le Dupleix and with Minu/Nanu/Tommy at Athithi grah made it to this list. Hmmm.. I miss that very often. Conversation. not just superficial hi-hello-how is life.. but real talk. where you spill your hearts out. the hundred thoughts that blaze thru you rmind and leave you slightly unbalanced.

8. Le Dupleix..
Okay.. so the lunch was expensive and not-so-great. may be if things had been not so burnt we would ve realised what Italian food actually tastes like. :) but as it was. i liked it. i liked it coz i ve d picture. taken by Naaji.. of the Friends photo and all of us in the background. so what if we paid two grand for that. i ve another photo to frame for the next get-together.. i liked it also because somehow these mishaps make the trip real. i'd ve loved it if everything was perfect. but years hence i'd ve looked at this trip and thought - "too good to be true". now though.. the lingering taste of burnt Italian food will remind me, "Yes twas berry berry true.. " :D

9. Top 3 rides i can't forget..
With Minu sa. while searching for Susan chechi's. I ve never been so lost yet found at the same time ever before. hehe.. twas fun.
With Acha..
With Radhee.. for a moment there i forgot that i was not born to be a singer. i think you did too seetheart. :)

these are the moments i'll treasure. i just realised. i haven't mentioned much of the place have i? :) but i really do wish i can spend at least a portion of my life at Auroville some day. with the brick-coloured unpaved roads and limitless freedom. for it felt like a place which can one day be home. away from the madness. it may have been because of the memory of these two days. two days which made me feel as if i was right in the middle of the current again. the current full of friends and emotions. but whatever may be the reason.. i wish i can go back one day. and while riding through those strangely familiar roads, i'll think of these two days. :)

P.S.. could all of us write Top Pondy moments somewhere? :) i'd love to relive all those memories..
and to all females who didn't come. missed ya guys.. immensely. hmmm.. next time. i hope.